A Sirius Conffesion
by xCHARLIExPEACHx
Summary: Things haven't been going so well for Sirius Black recently...  OOC Warning, Implied Homosexuality.


Whew. Done. Hehe. That was the longest one shot I've ever written… So I kind of compiled a bunch of used SB fanfic ideas, and then twisted them to fit my style and taste. I hate it when problems get unrealistically better in stories, so I thought I'd leave it up to your imagination whether or not things turn out in Sirius' favor. I'm sort of proud of myself; please tell me what you think!

**A Serious Confession**

Things haven't been going well for Sirius Black recently. He's been having strange feelings about one of his close mates, and he doesn't know quite how to place them. Does he like his mate? Does he want to shag his mate? Does he love his mate? It's not often that Sirius is confused about his feelings, but when it happens, you know things are serious. What makes it even worse? He has feelings for a half-breed. A male half-breed. He has feelings for a bloody werewolf whom happens to be his best mate, and that scares Sirius even more than his mother's wrath.

Sirius had taken to lying on his four-poster with the curtains closed in order to avoid contact with anyone he didn't feel like talking to, more specifically, James. He knows something is up with Sirius and he's hell bent on finding out what it is.

"Siriiiiiiiiiiii! What's the love of my life got planned for today?"

"Just admiring your beautiful face, Jamesy" He yawned resignedly and turned over in his bed. Getting through today would require some serious skill. James seemed to accept that answer and shrugged it off, probably thinking that he's just tired.

It's not often he has marvelous ideas that don't pertain to pranks or some sort of romantic conquest. This idea is simply for his benefit… or his downfall, he hasn't gotten that far in his plan. Anyway, Sirius had decided to take the bold route, and make his homosexuality known to the world, and he intended to do it now.

"Guys, I have a secret that I need to share with you." He sighed, getting up from his bed.

"You had an affair with McGonagall?" Peter asked excitedly.

"No. I mean, yes I did, but that's not what I want to tell you." Peter snorted at the thought of Sirius and the Transfiguration Professor doing anything more than bantering.

"The truth is… I fancy blokes. Love em, can't get enough of em. I just hope you guys can accept that." Sirius thought that came out a bit wrong, but decided to stand his ground anyway. James looked like he was about to say something, Peter looked like he was going to be ill, and Remus looked flushed. Why would Remus blush at that?

"That's disgusting! I can't believe you! You-you poofer! All this time we've shared a dorm, you could have been watching me change or shower! I'm going to Professor Dumbledore. I want you out of my dorm!" Peter was the color of a fire engine as he left the room, and Sirius had a look on his face that wasn't too different from the look of a shameful puppy that had just been kicked repeatedly and then left for dead. He didn't think Peter of all people would be so narrow minded, it hurt him deeply to think about the look on Peter's face when he had told him.

"Sirius, its okay mate. Peter will come around; he's just shocked that's all. It'll be okay. Remmy and I accept you. Right Remmy?" James tried desperately to console a shaking Sirius. Whether he was cold, consumed with rage, or filled with sorrow James didn't know. His best mate was hurting and that was all that mattered.

"Right! It'll be okay Sirius." Remus tried. It didn't work.

"Yeah." Sirius was standing in front of the window, looking down at the black lake, lost in thought. He didn't want it to be like this, he regretted telling them all.

"Are you coming to dinner?" James and Remus questioned, about to walk out the door.

"Not tonight. Have fun." Sirius mumbled dejectedly.

Peter had made damn sure of it that Sirius' sexuality was the hottest news in school. Even the Hufflepuffs knew, no one tells the Hufflepuffs anything. There were hundreds of depressed girls, ranging from first years to Professors even, and quite a few excited young men throwing him glances wherever he went. For Sirius, finding a moment of peace was an almost impossible conquest; people were crawling out of the darkest corners of the castle to ask if it was true. He'd just mumble an affirmative and walk off, without a second thought. Nothing about Sirius was private anymore, and the events of dinner that night just made things worse.

Sirius never gets post, so when an owl appeared in front of him, he was wary. He gulped in sheer terror when he saw what the blasted bird was carrying. A howler. The envelope took on a life of its own, and projected the voice of his mother throughout the Great Hall.

_"Sirius Orion Black, you disgusting disgrace of a child! Resorting to homosexuality just to spite me? You're more of a Slytherin then I thought. You absolutely revolt me; you were the accident child you know, an absolute mistake. I truly regret carrying you to term; I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance! I always loved your dear brother Regulus more than you, if you couldn't guess. He's the picture of Black perfection, handsome, popular, smart, successful, _Slytherin._ You're just an embarrassment. An ugly, lonesome, stupid, failure of a Gryffindor. I bet your own house doesn't even want you. Just like I don't. Don't bother coming home for Christmas. Don't bother coming home at all! This is no home of yours and nor am I your mother. You are hereby disowned. Good Riddance!" _

With that, the howler tore itself up into a neat little pile in front of him. All eyes in the room were on him, yet he couldn't meet anyone's gaze as he promptly left the room. He failed to notice his brother rise from the Slytherin table and leave after him, until he was tackled from behind and pinned to the floor.

"Get off me!" He shouted, he couldn't take any more of this. He was rejected, laughed at, homeless, and now beaten. It was just too much, this is why he doesn't share secrets.

"It's about time mum's disowned you! Filth." Regulus shouted as his fist made contact with Sirius' nose and his foot with Sirius' crotch. He would have continued if he hadn't been wrenched off by a passing prefect.

"Don't worry Siri, I'm sure mum would learn to forgive you, only if you apologized first though. What better way to apologize then throwing yourself off the astronomy tower?" Regulus called after him. The astronomy tower didn't sound like such a bad idea. He could hide up there and mend his wounds until he had to go to the Shrieking Shack to help Remus in a few hours.

Sirius was only able to get some peace and quiet for a few hours, but it was time to go help his friend. When Sirius got to the shack, he wasn't pleased to see that he'd be alone with Peter for a little bit before James got there. He prayed James would come soon.

"What are you doing here faggot? Remus doesn't want someone like you there to help him. Especially if he has to be naked in front of you, you might take advantage of him! You're disgusting. I agree with your mum. You're just a worthless poof." He sneered, looking like a Slytherin.

"Peter! That's enough; can't you see you're hurting him? He hasn't done anything to you! You're making matters worse for him. He's your friend Peter, one of the few people who accept you wholeheartedly for who you are; can't you pay him the same respect?" James shouted, absolutely furious. Peter hero-worships James, so when Peter shut up, it was evident that James had gotten to him.

"Trust me Peter, you aren't my type. " Sirius drawled, feigning indifference. It may have fooled Peter, but James knew that Sirius was really hurt. The sky was going dark, and the full moon was becoming more visible in the sky, they all morphed and Peter ran to the base of the Whomping Willow to tap on a root, effectively stilling the tree so they could get to the passageway at the base of it. Tonight would be a rough night…

"Sirius I am so sorry! " Remus doesn't cry often, but he's been known to shed a few tears when he gets truly upset. Sirius and Peter had been arguing, stressing out Remus who was in his werewolf form, causing Remus to attack Sirius, who was currently unconscious in the hospital wing from mass blood-loss. His best mate almost died because of him. This kind, brilliant, intelligent, passionate… undeniably sexy man was hurt due to him. Remus had always suspected he was bi-sexual, feeling attraction to both sexes, but having feelings for his best mate was dangerous. He must admit, he was flustered and hopeful when Sirius had announced his sexuality, and Remus had even hoped that he might have a shot with Sirius. Yet, when Sirius had stopped eating, was rejected by some of his friends, disowned by his mum, and jumped by his brother ( and many other people afterwards) Remus started to think that it wasn't such a good idea. Sirius was experiencing emotional turmoil and Remus felt ashamed and depressed that he had added physical pain to Sirius' plate. He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice Sirius stir beneath him.

"It's not your fault, I shouldn't have caused the problem in the first place" Sirius mumbled, still drowsy.

"But I've hurt you! You almost died! Have you seen the wound on your torso?" Remus shot back, if there weren't tears in his eyes, you might think he was angry.

"Relax Remus; I know you couldn't resist keeping your claws off of me. I'm just that gorgeous." Sirius attempted to make Remus smile.

_ 'You're right about being gorgeous'_ Remus blushed.

"I still could have killed you! Do you understand the severity of what I did to you? It's not safe for you to come with me anymore. I need to do it on my own." Remus wailed desperately.

"Remus. Shhh. Have some chocolate" Sirius offered him a bar of his favorite chocolate from the large array of gifts near his bedside table. No one knew what happened to Sirius exactly, Dumbledore had instructed the Marauders to tell everyone that Sirius was attacked when he wandered into the Forbidden Forest.

"There is no way I'm abandoning my best mate during his time of need. I'll stay with you even if it gets me killed." He smiled warmly, trying to prop himself up on his elbows.

"That's what I'm afraid of…"Remus trailed off, but smiled when Sirius took hold of his hand reassuringly. After having so many things go wrong, Sirius was ready for something to go right. He had a good feeling about this. His drama quota had been sufficiently filled, so something good must be coming his way soon. He rubbed circles on Remus' hand with his thumb and looked up at the young lycanthrope.

"You aren't getting rid of me that easily, Remus Lupin" He kissed his hand.

Remus grinned.


End file.
